The Wife’s query was relevant, though the fact that she posed it to the cashier at Target did not seem to make much sense. The cart was not that full, by any means. Target is just one of those stores that, even though you need just a couple of things, you come out spending six times as much as planned.
“My razors were $19, but I had a $5 coupon, so…” My justification for the big package of Schick Hydro5 razors was based on an expired coupon where I was supposed to buy two items. It was weak, but it was the best I had.
“The dishwashing tabs were $11. And we spent $10 on frickin’ Kleenex.” My justification of $1 off coupons for each didn’t seem to settle. The $91 trip to Target came on the heels of a $91 trip to Wegmans, so I think that stung a little.
I used to tell The Wife that I would spend more money when she came shopping with me. It was true pre-child. A simple 10-item grocery list would explode with her. “Hey, let’s try this,” would act as a prelude to her dropping $20 in snack mixes or candy into the cart. The Kid’s birth didn’t really do much to the grocery side. I had become a coupon ninja in terms of formula and had it worked out where the store would actually owe me money (How you ask? Think back to 2010 when Similac had their big crisis with dead beatles in the powdered formula. The manufacturer got the stores to drop the price of the liquid stuff until production resumed. So, a $6 bottle of formula was now $3.50 at Target or $4 at Wegmans. I hoarded $5 off coupons, swapping them with other people for other brands. Between the coupons and those formula checks, I could clear a shelf at Target — I would go early on Saturday mornings when they stocked the shelfs and take the boxes right off the palette — and make out $30-40 to the good. There’s a reason why Target now reserves the right to limit coupons. His name is Jared. I ruined for everyone.).
Now, The Baby is The Kid. She doesn’t actually eat food (for real…her diet is yogurt, pancakes, soft pretzels and liquids), so I don’t know. It’s not like we do anything particularly fancy here. I’m cooking mostly with chicken this week and most of that is in the freezer. The most expensive food items I purchased this week were the two boxes of Edy’s lime-flavored fruit bars (so, so good) at $3.99 a box, and the $5 piece of brie that I’m going to use with tonight’s paninis. Your guess is as good as mine.
Until I figure it out, I’ll just keep telling her that I want to feed her well so she doesn’t get tempted to toss me out on the curb when I do stupid things (like run up gigantic bar bills in Texas on the credit card…whoops).